Chris Brown at the Grammys
Now, I'm not the biggest fan of award shows, so when the Grammys were on this weekend I was just surfing the web. I came across HelloGiggles post called "I'm Not Okay with Chris Brown Performing at the Grammys and I'm Not Sure Why You Are" which I highly recommend you read. It's a reminder about how the media treats domestic abuse. Less than a year after Chris Brown hit Rihanna, he came out with a new album which hit #7 on the Billboard charts.
After his performance at the Grammys this year he won Best R&B Album. There has been some interesting reactions on Twitter, from girls tweeting "Chris Brown... Please beat me ;)" to RIP Chris Brown, celebrities and others tweeting messages to support Rihanna, Miranda Lambert tweeted "Not cool that we act like that didn’t happen. He needs to listen to
Gunpowder and Lead and be put back in his place. Not at the Grammys." Many people have been wondering why he was allowed to perform at the Grammys.
HelloGiggles says it all: "The message we sent to young women was unmistakable: You are powerless. You are worthless. You will be a victim, and that will be okay with us."
You never know...
Today in class we were talking about domestic abuse. After the break, my teacher told us that he had a guest who would like to speak to us about her experience. A girl in the back of the class stood up, Jaclyn, who I have a few classes with. I never would have imagined that she was a victim of domestic abuse. She told us her story and explained how she was recently crowned Miss Canada 2012 and will be using that platform to "Break the Silence." Miss Canada is raising funds to send Jaclyn across Canada to educate students about domestic violence.
Jaclyn was a university student studying family studies when she was in the abusive relationship. She told us how she was studying the signs of abuse but it took her a long time to realize that she was in an abusive relationship. She was embarrassed, scared, and alone.
In her bio Jaclyn writes
"As a society, we criticize those who have been victims of abuse. We
blame them, assuming it was their fault. We put them down and make them
feel embarrassed and ashamed." Read the rest of her bio here.
Myths:
Men are always the abuser.
Even though my two examples are about women who were victims, but abuse is not gender blind. Women can be abusive.
If there's no mark, there's no abuse.
Abuse can be mental or physical. Abusers isolate their victims from their friends and family.
What do you think?
Does society blame the victim? Why? Why are these myths ingrained in us? Let's talk about it.
Are you in an abusive relationship or do you
know someone who is? Don't know what to do? Call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868
or call the police.
Or hey, you can email me - redcardi.love@gmail.com
Stay Beautiful,
Lisa
I loved HelloGiggles' article, it well put into words the way I feel about Chris Brown preforming at the Grammys. I commend those celebrities who are voicing their disapproval of the situation, and wish we'd hear more from them.
ReplyDeleteIt is not okay that we are rewarding this man, and commending him for his actions. He has not once demonstrated remorse for his actions and the whole situation really appears to be a big joke to him. He should have LOST HIS CAREER the moment he chose violence instead of words.
In general the ramifications for domestic abuse are too lenient. It is too easy for abusers to continue to to stalk and intimidate their victims, that needs to stop. Violence against another person is a CRIME, and instead of handing people awards - or in the real world, pieces of paper called "Restraining Orders", that serve to prevent NOTHING - we should be handing these abusers an orange jumpsuit.
PS: Miranda Lambert's family used to house female victims of abuse who were trying to escape their abusers. Gunpowder and Lead has some AMAZING songs on it, a few inspired by these women.
Yes - Jaclyn talked to us about how difficult it was for her to leave and how hard it was to get the cops involved. She's still in court battles now, but the man basically would have gotten away with it had she not taken pictures from when things happened.
DeleteShe talked about how the victims often don't have enough evidence to prosecute the abusers. One thing that was shocking is that if you report abuse once the police have their hands tied and can't really do anything until it gets worse.
I agree - I'm glad some celebrities are finally voicing their opinions, but I wish more would.
I am all for MEN or WOMEN going to jail for what they have done.....BUT when SOME WOMEN make up lies to save themselves for things they have done,THAT IS NOT RIGHT.ABUSE IS A VERY SERIOUS issue that needs to be addressed,but it needs to be addressed by people who have been in that situation,not by women who make up things to get further in their carreer.......ABUSE ISNT A JOKE!!!!so to all the women out there who HAVE been abused,my heart goes out to you,but for ALL the women who lie on men...... SHAME ON YOU
Deleteand NO I wasnt talking about Rhianna
DeleteYes, some people do take advantage of the system. It is really too bad when that happens because the women who actually need help are getting less.
DeleteIn general domestic abuse is highly under-reported and it's often difficult for women to prove what happened to them because they're not always able to come up with "proof." Jaclyn told us she was lucky that she took pictures when she was hit so that she does have something to submit for evidence.
So while some are taking advantage of the system, many are going without help. This article was meant to reach out to them or to their loved ones who might have noticed a recent change.
Here's the song Miranda referenced:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMMTx2VIub4&feature=fvst